Don’t Be There

Choosing Not to Be Bullied (Even By Yourself)

When I was young, I was short, skinny, and an easy target. I was bullied, not just by kids at school, but by the people who were supposed to love me the most … my own parents. I never knew when it was coming. A slap, a punch, a scream. There was no safe corner of the house, no warning signs. I couldn’t just not be there. I was a child with nowhere to run.

But I’m not that child anymore.

Now, I have choices.

When I owned a martial arts school, every self-defense class started with the simplest … and maybe the most important … rule: Don’t be there.

It sounds almost too simple, but it’s powerful. It means this:

Don’t walk down the dark alley.

Don’t hang out in the biker bar.

Don’t stay in the relationship that abuses you.

The best way to win a fight is to never step into the ring.

And here’s the thing: as adults, we often forget that we can choose where we stand. If you hate your job, your relationship, your neighborhood, or even the people you call “friends”… you can leave. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. And yes, you deserve to protect yourself.

The Hardest Kind of Abuse

There’s another form of bullying, one that’s quieter but just as brutal. It’s the kind we do to ourselves.

When we drown our pain with alcohol, numb out with drugs, or keep replaying self-destructive habits … we are the bully. We’re standing in the dark alley with ourselves, fists raised.

I know this because I’ve done it.

But I also know it’s a choice. You can walk away. You can ask for help. And help is out there … if you take that first step to not be there anymore.

The Takeaway:

If someone attacks me now … physically, verbally, or emotionally … they are gone from my life.

That’s my choice. No one gets to take up space in my world if they can’t treat me with respect.

And if I find myself turning into my own bully, I have the power to stop that too. So do you.

No one deserves to be hurt.

Not by others.

Not by yourself.

So if you’re reading this and you’re stuck in a life, a job, a relationship, or even a mental space that’s hurting you … step out of it. Don’t be there. Protect yourself.

Because you’re worth it.