“Toxic Paint” and Other Adult Problems

Let’s talk about the phrase “toxic paint.”

Every time I hear it, I giggle just a little. Not an evil villain laugh—just a soft, internal “Oh bless your heart” kind of snicker.

You see, someone will wag a finger at a tube of cadmium red like it’s a loaded weapon. “That’s toxic!” they gasp, then proceed to hop in their SUV, drive to a gas station, inhale a lungful of gas fumes, swipe their card, and pump 12 gallons of explosive liquid into a steel container strapped under their seat.

But my paint tube is the problem?

They’ll then head home, bleach their bathroom, Febreze the dog, microwave leftovers in plastic from 1994, and mist their patio with a weed killer that could probably strip the paint off an army tank.

All in the name of modern living.

Pause for a moment.

Yes, some artist paints contain toxic materials. You know what else is toxic? Batteries. Nail polish remover. Windex. Glade plug-ins. Your Aunt Linda’s potato salad in August. (I still can’t eat potatoe salad since that battle with my intestines)

Here’s the difference: you’re not supposed to eat any of those things. And guess what? You’re also not supposed to eat your paint.

Toxic doesn’t mean evil. It means use responsibly. Like an adult. Read a label. Open a window. Don’t lick your brushes like a lollipop. And maybe don’t store your mineral spirits next to your tequila. Common sense goes a long way.

So, to all the nervous newbies out there:

Yes, paint can be toxic.

So can people.

So can emails from your ex.

But used wisely, paint can also create breathtaking beauty.

And just to be crystal clear:

Do. Not. Eat. Your. Paint.